paper blade .

Monday, June 20, 2005
10:47 PM

This post will b sad. It will b nostalgic. This post is just me, u don't have to bother to read on or do anything after reading it. Don't bother, I just need to let go...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Why're my emotions so fucking mixed up?! I'VE BEEN BLOODY LYING TO MYSELF. Or is it just under the circumstances...? I'm allowing my self pity/confusion to consume me in whole, and I like it.

It's all me. I knw. I caused it all. Did this to myself and everything more. I deserve to b hung there, left with no explanation. My mind's at a blank. I hate this feeling, and I hate myself.

Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart

And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't mean to carry on

Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me

You got a way of spreading magic everywhere
Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't mean to carry on

It's such a hard life when most of the time I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope

And I miss you
This is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't mean to carry on

You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all

You know I miss you
And this is all I wanna do
I know it doesn't sound too cool
But maybe I'm in love with you

You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't mean to carry on

I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby
And when you're walking out that door
I know I miss you
You make me wanna ask for more
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby

Darren Hayes - I miss you

This song embodied meaning so precious only I can feel the tragedy of it's lost.

Time to remove myself completely from all that tug-of-war I've been going thru alone. Inside. Silently. Sub-consciously, even I didn't realise at times. It's gonna b hard, it's gonna kill me, but I'm finally ready to try, and do it for real.

What in the world am I doing?! I need to complete my damned assignment.

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